When to draw the line?

A ridiculous event took place last night. As you may know, I have biological kids that dance. As high school kids, they sacrifice a majority of their fee time to study their art. However, between the training, performing are the moms. This is the third time my kid has been bullied by an adult at the studio. How on earth is that fair? As with many situations, I am left amazed at the behavior of the adults. Choices, how you interact, when you call for a meeting, the format of the meeting it all has unintended consequences. Stop, breath and THINK before you act.

Finding a Passion

Do you have a passion? Something that burns inside of you, that you can not picture your world without? For me it is helping others, building community and sharing perspective. Two of my kids have an extreme passion for dance. My 13 year old lobbied hard for to change high schools to a performing art high school. After lots of discussion and auditions, the decision has been made she is moving high schools.

My 16 year old, who also loves dance, has a passion for space. She has said she wanted to be an Astro space engineer since she was little. She is still on that path and is beyond amazing at scheduling her intensive dance training and school to ensure fantastic grades and test scores. How does she do it? PASSION!

I have other kids in my life by choice that do not have passion. The day starts and ends without that spark of drive for something. Is it taught? Is it genetic? What causes the internal drive to motivate kids? I have NEVER had to tell a kid to do homework, to study for a test, or to do their reading. My two have always had that internal drive. It is there in their heart to push to exceed expectations.

Thought for today? Can passion be taught?

Transition

As a corporate executive I spend many hours working, traveling, attending meetings you know the drill. What I have found to be most difficult as a remarried executive is the difficulty with transition. I have witnessed kids having a hard time with transition between biological parents, but what is eye-opening is my own person experience with transition. The count down starts the day before, ok I am heading home tomorrow. Then the daily check in call to see what new drama has been discovered. With a family of eight and two former spouses, things are always crazy. In any event back to the transition. The anxiety sets in. How do I act when I get home? What domestic tasks have to be completed? How many hours until my next trip? My brain spins until the idea of going home to the blended family no longer seems appealing.

A friend told me once that we should only refer to the kids as kids, not step or his or hers.  Ok that sounds great, but in my world the new family members are out to destroy my new marriage as well as create extreme moments of pain. So shall I say that some of the kid as are not happy for me to return from work. They seem to enjoy the trips to fun places, the materialistic needs, all as an entitlement. So you can see where the transition becomes one of great turmoil.

This has made me wonder how do some do it so well and why do others have such a hard time? Transition at work, personal transition, medical transition none of it is easy. Maybe that is the point?

What you did that?

Tonight’s thought is centered on social norms and stereotypes. I bought a dishwasher for my condo. I picked it up myself to save on deliver fees as well as installed it myself. I watched several YouTube videos on how to do the installation, and boom it is in and works. Saved over $200 by taking this risk. I post about my new bad a$$ dishwasher and two folks immediately ask if I really did it myself. If I were male, would they ask such a question? It was easy with YouTube. Will females ever be seen as being able to do anything a guy can do? I want to yell “stop sounding surprised, I am college educated and clearly know how to use YouTube. Doesn’t it look cool?”

When we make comments, what unintended message are we sending? Think about it folks. Words are powerful. What message are we sending our kids?

Time to Talk!

Where were you ten years ago? Sometimes looking back gives the best picture of where you are going. Looking at life’s obstacles and changes this platform seeks to share perspective and provoke thought. Let’s talk about the reality of chronic pain. Experiencing a neurological disease since age 21, more than half of my life has been spent fighting pain. Reality is, there is no easy answer. I can assure you, the answer is not found in taking prescriptions for the rest of your life. Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly medical conditions warranting medications. However, I would encourage the questions be posed to the physician, what is the longterm plan?

Let me share with you my story….

Going back to 1998, after strange tingling and numbness I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Yes it was a scary conversation, but at the same time it was a great relief to understand what was really going on to explain all the “strange” symptoms. As the years progressed, so did the available prescription “solutions.” Burning sensation, boom there is a prescription for that, can’t sleep… yep a prescription for that… stabbing pain… you guessed it there is a prescription for that also. The cycle continued, the cost for these prescriptions increased and the quality of life spiraled down.

Then in 2017, a decision was made to take control of my life. I found a way of life that is anti-inflammatory. What does this mean? Well that is for another post, but the point is with diet alone I have taken control. I still have MS, but I am off all pain and sleep medications. WHY didn’t the medical community talk to me about these options? Why is the first response to write a prescription?

For today, that is the question, WHY are you where you are and what is your future plan?